Honey? Can we take a cruise off the coast of Somalia this fall?

I have two very close friends with whom I recently attended a delightful dinner at Il Fornio in Santa Monica (It has a cute warm bar and elegantly casual Italian dining - I recommend the outside patio for its ocean view and fresh air). So there we were, Ms. D and her husband Mr. P and myself with my closest friend Mr. J. As the topic of conversation turned to Ms. D's and Mr. J's past cruise ship experiences, we all broke into hysterics. Although I have never personally ventured aboard such a mobile city, Mr. J took a weekend cruise from Long Beach Harbor to Ensenada, Mexico and back. Ms. D took a Northern Atlantic cruise from New York to England and back...in the winter.
The information that I was able to gather with regards to cruises in general, is as follows:

1) They are mobile brothels - Everyone is chasing tail, hooking up and trying to do so in a 10' x 10' room with two single beds that are 3 feet apart. Apparently, this is all done in pre-determined shifts so as to minimize mutual interference;

2) Facilitating this ritual, is the ever present and unusually inviting piano bar. Generally the name of the pianist is Tony and the bar never closes. Additionally, when below deck (which was especially inviting on the winter cruise of the North Atlantic - who invented that!?!?!) no one really knows or cares what time of the day it is so the drunken stupor spans the entire cruise;

3) There is a day (or if you are lucky two days) when you depart from the mobile brothel in order to find inviting natives on the shore of freedom. Apparently the politics of avoiding the cruise hookup while "on shore leave" is quite the challenge;

4) Finally, the remainder of the cruise is spent avoiding the "leg-one" hook up who is now mad at you for hooking up during shore leave and additionally for having a drinking problem...So, you drink more to drown that out.

Now, having discovered the intrigue of cruises, I wonder, WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE THESE PEOPLE THINKING TAKING A CRUISE OFF THE COAST OF SOMALIA?!?!?!?!? Now, I can understand them wanting to ignore the fact that they were passing by one of the most impoverished nations on the continent of Africa (because, really, did they want to think about the fact that the amount of food on their ship alone would have fed most of the people in Somalia better in one day than they receive in a week? I think not) and I know they wanted to ignore the fact that this is a country that has no central government nor do they even have a functioning infrastructure...but DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!!! Perhaps had they done a bit of research, they would have discovered that pirating has been a common occurrence off of the Somali shore.

"At least 23 hijackings and attempted seizures have been recorded off the Somali coast since mid-March"

This cruise ship kept a 100 mile distance even though the advisory was that they should remain 150 miles or more off shore........In short, the pirates fired A ROCKET with an actual ROCKET LAUNCHER, through a guest room. And to fight back?....the Cruise Ship Crew - mind you these are failed dancers, rejected Navy ship seamen and the piano bar guy named Tony - defended the ship - full of drunk, love-making fools-as follow's:

"The crew used an on-board loud acoustic bang to deter the gunmen, making them believe they were under fire"

Cruise? $500.
Guinness? $8.
Broadway failures saving hundreds of wasted patrons by making loud noises off the shore of Somalia?
Priceless.